Baby Girl's a Queen

Note To Self:
When getting hickies, be sure not to get them in visible areas for awkward conversations with your mother will ensue.

The dice was loaded from the start,
and i bet,
and you exploded in my heart.

All i do is miss you, and the way we used to be.
All i do is keep the beat, the bad company.
All i do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme...
Romeo I'll do the stars for you anytime..

...And then she runs to the pastor,
And he tells her there will be a new chapter,
But she feels no different after...

I have all these things inside me i wanna say
and i'm usually pretty good at articulating my feelings,
but when i think about something like this my head gets rushed with information and then i just draw a blank.
I feel like writing down all my thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper
(and by piece i really mean a five volume encyclopedia)
and sitting him down and just handing it to him because honestly,
i might as well be mute when it comes to this.
Heres the kicker.
I'm almost 99% sure he's completely oblivious to the situation at hand.
So imagine being mute and having a conversation with someone whos retarded.
Thats basically my life right now.

What makes things occur in life?
Is it fate?
Maybe destiny?
Do we ultimately make or own decisions?
If you want something bad enough, does that make it happen?
Or, is it the opposite?
If we want something bad enough do we jinx ourselves into not getting it?
Is there a particular reason why everyone experiences different things?
Or when you cut away all the fat, does everyone go through the same shit and how you deal with the situation determines how you'll be rewarded?

If you constantly think about something,
Dream about something,
Hope and pray from something,
Does that mean you want it?

I think this is what i want.
In fact I'm almost dead certain this is something i want.
So much so, that it's been two years in the making
And about two hours walking around in the blistering cold looking for it
only to come home empty handed.

So, the problem isn't determining whether or not i wasnt this
But rather how to get it.
Do i hang back and hope it comes to me? Or do i remain persistent in hopes that all my work has paid off?
Perhaps a combination of both is in order?

Have you ever been moved in a way you never thought possible?
Felt things you didn't think existed.
Emotions are a tricky thing..
but I've learned there's no limit to what someone can feel.
No matter how hard things seem, it's never impossible.